Feel like getting in the mood for Valentine’s Day? Check out PolluterHarmony.com, a website that promises to match polluters, industry lobbyists, and politicians. As the website says:
It takes strong relationships and the right chemistry to devise schemes that successfully evade or destroy environmental regulations. Sometimes, members of Congress, polluters, and lobbyists are so busy that they don’t have time to find those perfect relationships. Plus, now that the Supreme Court has removed restrictions on corporate electoral spending, it’s more important than ever to find the right match. Isn’t it worth it, to make sure your corporation’s or client’s money turns into a fruitful relationship?
That’s why we’ve created PolluterHarmony, the #1 matchmaking service for polluters, industry lobbyists, and politicians. Now it’s easier than ever to buy and sell influence in order to sabotage America’s clean energy future.
The send-up website pokes fun at politicians who take money from big money lobbyists and then work to block environmental legislation. Alaskan Senator Lisa Murkowski, for example, is working to block the new EPA regulations on greenhouses gases. Her profile on “Polluter Harmony” says:
“When I moved from Alaska to Washington, I wasn’t sure if I’d be able to find someone who was right for me. The first couple of years were tough — I met a lot of potential matches but couldn’t find the perfect one. My dad had lived in DC for years and had a lot of success with PolluterHarmony, so I decided to try it.
When I saw Jeff’s profile, I couldn’t believe I found a lobbyist with so much money to contribute to my re-election campaigns and so many big coal and utility industry clients. Arch Coal, Southern Company, Edison Electric… I thought “He’s just what I’m looking for!” We instantly clicked — in our first phone conversation, he told me he could bundle $10,000 by our first date. We met in person a week later, and he had the check in hand.
By our second date we knew that this was the real thing for us both. He told me he’d been trying to undermine the Clean Air Act since the first Bush term. As the ranking member on the Energy and Natural Resources committee, I was happy to help him by slowing down clean energy policy and introducing polluter-friendly legislation.
Thanks to PolluterHarmony, I’ve finally found my perfect match. Together, we’re blocking the EPA from taking on big polluters. And now that the Supreme Court has opened the floodgates for corporate funded elections, Jeff’s able to funnel even more money into my re-election efforts this November.”
The video is very funny, but it has a serious message about the incestuous relationship between lobbyists, elected representatives, and corporations. Unfortunately, Canada isn’t exempt from this kind of influence-peddling – tar sands, anyone?